“Ego is the glue that holds soul to body.”
– Guru Singh

Hello Friends,

Let’s explore the nature of the ego and its influence on our lives.. Often misunderstood, the ego is not inherently negative; it plays a crucial role in shaping our individual identity. The ego helps us survive, differentiate and accomplish our early developmental tasks. While crucial in protecting and developing our individual selves, it often leads us to forget that we are part of a larger wholeness.

In our culture, the ego is frequently equated with arrogance. But playing small or limiting ourselves is just as much ego as indulging in delusions of grandeur. Hidden inside that false humility is a belief that “I know best” – is me being caught in my story. Both arrogance and playing small represent a belief in separateness, forgetting the oneness. When we get caught up in the ego’s desires, we mistake a false sense of self – a smaller, more isolated self – for our true nature.

Personally, the influence of the ego has been a significant driving force in my life. It played a role in leading me to the path of coaching. While my genuine care for others is undeniable, the truth is that my ego also sought care-giving as a way to gain the security, affection, or control I felt I lacked. This drive, while well-intentioned, has led me to constantly work harder or endlessly do more. I was driven by fear. A fear that I had to do it on my own – make money, build a business, change the culture – all on my own.

The ego’s nature is to seek security, power, and esteem – driven by the fear of lacking them just as much as by the desire to overcompensate with excess. The ego can help us be aware of risks and opportunities. There’s nothing wrong with that, but when we believe the story it tells, we forget our true selves. While we are forgetting, life becomes about getting. The ego becomes fixated on securing more security, more power, more affection.

When we forget, we are driven. This drive stems from a deep-seated fear: the fear of “not enough”. In isolation, of course we feel not enough. Believing that, how could we not be driven to acquire, achieve and accumulate?

Recently I was gifted the opportunity to reflect on how much of my life has been driven by this very fear. Previously, I wore being “driven” almost as a badge of honour (sound familiar?). It’s easy to see how this drive leads to burnout, as it has for me in the past.

But there is a way out of this cycle – the simple act of remembering. When we remember that we are not our ego, we reconnect with the truth of who we are – complete, whole, and interconnected. In this state of remembrance, the ego no longer holds the reins. Instead of being driven by its fears, we can view the ego’s concerns as possibilities to consider, not as mandates to follow. When we remember, rather than being driven, we receive the opportunity to choose.

Even though it makes me sick to look at how the ego has driven me, the act of turning to face it has given me the separation I needed to remember. In that space, I can choose not to believe the ego’s fear-based narrative.

This shift from forgetting to remembering transforms our relationship with the ego. It no longer drives us relentlessly toward more; instead, it presents us with options that we can choose from with discernment and wisdom. By remembering our oneness, we reclaim our power to choose freely, guided by our deeper knowing rather than by the ego’s fears.

I invite you to join me in this practice of remembering. Notice when the ego is driving you, and ask yourself if this pursuit truly aligns with your highest self. By reconnecting with the oneness that binds us, we can live with greater ease, authenticity, and fulfillment.

In unity and remembrance,

Gabriel